pre-marriage course

hello..

yeah, i’ve changed the theme (again!) for a fresher look hehe and its pink! cuteness! hehe anyway, sorry for the long disappearance due to those four major things that i have to worry (refer previous post if you are diligent enough hehe)

last weekend my fiance and i went to our pre-marriage course. its a compulsory or as in the contract term it is a “condition precedent” to getting married since we have to attach the certificate alongside with other forms (to get married). it was a beneficial one and half day course. nothing much, just choose the most comfortable seat you could find and listen to the motivators talk for 2 hours for each session. there’ll be six sessions altogether and breaks in between for lunch or tea and solat, of course.

some people relates pre-marriage courses to “sex” courses because from what i heard, sometimes the motivators gave examples relate to “that” which might offend you. and of course, somehow rather i have that perceptions too. i dont know, maybe it depends on which area/course you attend and who the motivators are. but for me, i was wrong. when i went through those talks, it opened up my eyes to how beautiful marriage will be in the future.

no doubt that sex is one of the essence in marriage and the motivators also did not against to sex is one the ways for couples to make up from the arguments or as a technique of persuasions (haha!) it wouldn’t be that gross anymore once you are married, right?

 

gosh! i’m so sorry for having a moment of awkwardness of discussing about this matter. for i do not have the experiences yet, so i will end it here. thousand apologies for that. gosh, i’m blushing!

 

………. ok, lets move on to other issues shall we?

those motivators/facilitators from the course that i went were very professional and knowledgeable because some of them have backgrounds as counselors at the religious department. they gave us recipes of happiness on how to make our marriage lasts long and of course, blessed by Allah. it may be in the ways of communication, toleration and understanding between the two; husband and wife. i truly respect them because they do not talk cheap as they talked based on their own experiences or they encounter experiences from people they have consulted/advised.

they can’t really teach us the steps on what to do when husband and wife argue. or neither can they write a manual on how to treat the husband/wife. but they could help in guiding us with doa’ and shared some of their experiences, in hope that the participants could make it as “lessons learned”. toleration and understanding is the key to any marriages, by any means of communication. but it’ll all depends on the couples on how and where will they lead the marriage life.

they stressed a lot on divorces because the rates are increasing from year to year and very worrying. quoted from riwayat abu daud dan ibn majah,

perbuatan halal yang paling dibenci oleh Allah ialah perceraian.

(the permissible act that Allah hated the most is divorce)

arguments are normal in every marriage. but we were told to be very careful with words. remember toleration and of course, patience? yes, this has been stressed in every session by each motivator. despite of any hardship in your marriage, being financial as one of the reasons leading to divorces, the motivators advised the participants to always be strong for each other and it is harus for the wife to help the husband if she is capable.

just to share, one of the motivators told us to always read surah al-waqiah to avoid poverty and surah yasin or ayat seribu dinar for wealth and prosper.

you may read this post and smirk, with a remark that i’m still young and know nothing yet about this marriage thingy. yupp, i admit, i have no hands-on experiences on these marriage matters yet. but, by listening to those talks, insya allah, God’s willing, both of us will work the best for our marriage to last to the end.

ohh, just to share a bit. yesterday, my mama and i went for breast scanning at a hospital. one of our neighbour introduced to the ladies of the neighbourhood of a latest technology for early detection of breast cancer. unfortunately, when we were at the hospital, the machine took such a long time to scan all thirty of us within a day. thus, all of us just did ultrasound. but my point here is that, some doctors/nurses/staffs might complain due to working long hours, having no rest due to attending patients.

people come to the hospital with health problems, be it minor or major. no one likes to go to the hospital to just visit and look around the building and greet the doctors/nurses. that’ll be an asylum then. anyway, civilians go to the hospitals with worries in their head and burden on their shoulders. they want to seek for medical advice. but, how would you feel when doctors/nurses/staffs took you for granted for your minor or mere problems?

isn’t it frustrating? we do not know what’s in our body. we’ll be worried sick if its just a minor pain in stomach, or just a little cut at the finger. we need advice and attention of the medical experts, right? don’t feel offended if its not you, not all doctors/nurses/staffs having these attitude. some are very diligent and dedicated to their work and patients cos i know a handful who are.

patients are patients. please attend to them no matter how silly their problem is.

by the way, the result of scanning is normal (for now) cos we don’t know what future lies for us, right?

till then,  take care!

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